My husband insecure about my past reddit

Pb_user_/ October 2, 2012/ My husband insecure about my past reddit/ comments

The biggest obstacle in my marriage is that my husband is insecure. This was no surprise to me as I was aware that he was unconfident ever since we were dating. I love Jerry so I was willing to deal with this difficulty. However, I was unaware of the challenges that would come along with this issue. My name is Amanda and I am writing as a guest blogger for the Marriage Fitness website.

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My story will show you how my husband and I were able to work through our problem and rebuild our failing marriage. When I met Jerry, he was charming, fun and most importantly, worry free. We immediately hit it off and fell in love. At first his insecurities seemed a bit like jealousy and I sort of found it sweet and flattering.

However, the flattery only lasted a short while and it became more of a nuisance than sweet. I often called Jerry out on his insecurities but it was usually laughed off. Jerry asked me to marry him after we dated for seven months and I said yes. We made the perfect couple besides for his lack of confidence which made it easy for me to look past this obstacle. Only this issue became increasingly noticeable once we were married and I had to deal with the fact that my husband is insecure.

As many times as I would reassure Jerry, it was never enough. He always underestimated himself and expected me to approve any decisions. I wanted my husband to take charge of his actions and to believe in himself the way I did. Jerry was not very understanding towards my feelings. He was insulted that I was accusing him of being insecure. I felt guilty about putting all of the blame on my husband. If I felt that my husband is insecure, I should want to help him rather than blame him.

I decided that I was going to take the first step to bettering my marriage. I have not heard any positive feedback from couples who went to marriage counseling so I decided to look for other options.Retrospective jealousy — or jealousy about your partner's past — is a common issue for couples.

My husband is unhappy with the infrequent sex, specifically to the fact that he has to practically beg for it and wait and wait until I want it enough to say yes. After all, he wants to know that he can count on you too when he's in need! Their mistaken belief is that they achieve if No matter how much you fight it, your partner has a sexual past. I know if you're feeling insecure or jealous, space is not what you need. This is clearly a case where a man is seeking someone 17 years younger because he's intimidated by women his own age.

A few days ago, my husband found a piece of paper related to my sexual past. For instance, if your partner is insecure about their career, they may work longer hours in order to help them feel better.

We tend to think of ourselves as a continuum—a human being that begins with our past, moves briefly through our present, and Husband found out about my sexual past. My husband and I started to win when we figured you out; when my lovely man agreed that he had a problem, and he would stop talking about my past, and would stop making hurtful comments.

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And let him know that your commitment to being authentic includes not just talking about past events and embarrassments. I feel sorry that she is insecure about my sexual past but there's nothing I can do to change it. Do these things when dealing with that past in marriage. To stop being insecure, you need to stop looking for these certainties and simply trust in him that he means what he says. The biggest obstacle in my marriage is that my husband is insecure. However, I was unaware of the challenges that would come along with this issue.

But keeping your word and always doing your best is good practice in any relationship — and even more so when you know your partner needs extra assurance. And it makes me sad and hurt. I love Jerry so I was willing to deal with this difficulty. Can't prove it.

My Husband is Insecure. But giving your Having told my wife a selection of my past before we got married, it plagued the marriage. It affected him very much because he didn't really know much about it. For a healthy relationship, you need to be willing to give your partner space. Is my partner's past a "deal-breaker?

Does This Count As Cheating On My Husband [Reddit Stories]

But, one thing I never really wrote about was the day we met. I just don't know what to do because I don't like being insulted. Husband found out about my sexual past. They broke up, somewhat tumultuously, and we started dating about a year and a half later. Insecure partners always seek approval. Here's a clue: if you want a peaceful relationship or marriage, you - the guy - should never ever discuss your past relationships, or if you have to, then do not neglect to say how glad you are that you got away from them.

We live with the fact that they may see ex's in person on a regular basis at the store or at work and so on. So husband and I have been together since we were 24 and both come from a reserved culture.Emotions aren't always perfectly logical, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. If this particular problem keeps you up at night, know that you are not alone. LeslieBeth Wisha licensed clinical psychotherapist, tells Elite Daily.

But wonder is different from worry and anxiety. There are a variety of reasons you might be feeling conflicted over your significant other's past, according to Dr.

If your partner gets emotional or upset when talking about their ex, or is still in regular contact with their ex, you might feel particularly triggered over this issue. It's also possible that "your hurt, disappointment, and fears from your previous relationships can intensify your worry," Dr. Wish points out. If you've been burned before by an ex who was still hung up on their ex, you might be more careful about sussing out the truth about your new partner's headspace this time around.

To combat these stressful feelings, Dr.

My husband insecure about my past reddit

Wish advises keeping a journal in order to better understand how you behave and think in romantic relationships. She suggests exploring your mindset by writing out answers to the following questions:. In addition to journaling, or if journaling doesn't provide the emotional relief you seek, Dr. Wish suggests seeking the help of a therapist who can help you untangle these emotions. It's also worth considering your own romantic and sexual past.

If you've dated or slept with other people, and you're now fully excited about and focused on your new partner, isn't it possible that your new significant other feels the same way about you? Personally, I used to feel anxious and jealous when I thought about my girlfriend's dating history. Ultimately, I was able to overcome those thoughts, and eventually, my girlfriend and I got married.

As uncomfortable as these feelings of jealousy, anxiety, or insecurity may be, there's so much joy, connection, and intimacy to look forward to if you're able to focus on what you have in front of you. With some effort, you can get there. This article was originally published on Aug. By Jeff Billings.Rapid-fire updates i.

my husband insecure about my past reddit

TL;DR if your post is longer than ish words about a half page. General discussion topics such as requests for stories, polls, general questions, etc. Moral Judgment Posts - See rule I 1 for what to do if your question resembles these:. Fetish deep-dives, e.

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Name calling, insults, or insensitive language detailsregardless of who started it. This includes but isn't limited to racial, homophobic, and misogynistic insults and slurs. Blanket statements about a group "All men are X", "All women do Y" are not allowed. Please report them. Do report posts you see which break the rules. If you think the reason might not be obvious, feel free to add your reasoning as to why.

Do not report with posts you believe are bad advice for the OP. That's what downvotes are for. Posting issues will generally result in a post removal unless an equivalent comment rule is also tripped.

my husband insecure about my past reddit

No Contact. If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship or would like information on warning signs to watch out for, check out The Red Flag Campaign. My 25 F boyfriend 28 M can't get over my past and obsesses about sexual past.

I don't know what to do anymore. We have been together for two years and living together for over a year. I love him like crazy. We have talked marriage and I see myself with him in the future. When we first started to date he seemed to be making clear to me that he did NOT want a girlfriend.

Often saying things like "but we are fine just dating", etc. Got super drunk and fooled around. Nothing happened after that night and I pretty much stopped talking to that person.

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Well a few week later he said he wanted to be exclusive. I was SO happy.My husband and I are in our 30s and have been married for a few years. Keep your independence. You want to talk about exes so he understands how he fits into your life, and why you're so confident about the relationship. My Husband is Insecure. So husband and I have been together since we were 24 and both come from a reserved culture. That was before me, and as long as it isn't going on now then I don't care.

A few days ago, my husband found a piece of paper related to my sexual past. You might feel like your partner is about to break up with you all the time. Is my partner's past a "deal-breaker?

22 signs your partner is insecure, manipulative and totally not good for you

But, one thing I never really wrote about was the day we met. He never had a perfect recovery, but we weathered the bumps along the way the best we could and came out on the other side stronger and closer. We met when I was My husband and I are in our 30s and have been married for a few years. An overwhelming urge to fill every second of silence with needless words is a habit of an insecure person.

Bad relationship, hated his wife and cheated on her constantly, but only stayed in relationship because of children. This is clearly a case where a man is seeking someone 17 years younger because he's intimidated by women his own age. But giving your Having told my wife a selection of my past before we got married, it plagued the marriage. I'd admit they were a lot but don't worry, it's below 10 but I didn't really regret anything about it, in fact, I was single when I did it.

O yes. We live far away from both our families.

How To Get Over Your Partner's Romantic And Sexual Past

Insecure about my husband's ex. I love Jerry so I was willing to deal with this difficulty. It's all because he can't accept my sexual past. However, things may not go as planned. I've been there. Insecure partners always seek approval. I missed him so much in this time and could think of nothing but how things got so bad an if we could get back what would i do differently as i did definatley feel like alot of the break was down to me as i was a little depressed with being unemployed and strain on our relationship, i feel i took this out on him.

Your virginity is sacred and Holy and you should never give such a wonderful gift to just anyone. She was insecure throughout and constantly questioned me about my whereabouts. After 20 years of marriage and several children the sight of her still stirs me, clothed or not. Same for my past. We don't know. He wants to please you. I wish I wasn't, but yes, I get very insecure about my SO's past partners.

After all, he wants to know that he can count on you too when he's in need! However, I was unaware of the challenges that would come along with this issue. I just don't know what to do because I don't like being insulted. My husband has past insecurity issues [ 4 Answers ] Here is a quick summary: My husband has been previously married. I've been married for eight and a half years and I have two beautiful kids.He asked me where I've been I told him I fell asleep at my friends house.

He wants to please you.

my husband insecure about my past reddit

You might feel like your partner is about to break up with you all the time. I feel sorry that she is insecure about my sexual past but there's nothing I can do to change it. That was a small victory for our relationship, but you soon found a way back in. At first, you might find see this as proof of his undying love for you—the fact that he values your opinion and always takes it into consideration.

We live with the fact that they may see ex's in person on a regular basis at the store or at work and so on. After all, he wants to know that he can count on you too when he's in need! Aside from this one issue my girlfriend is amazing, incredibly supportive as ironic as it soundsand there for me in every way.

It was a year ago for me that I did what i did, but for my wife it was a week ago that I cheated on her. My Husband is Insecure. So that left him with a bad taste in his mouth where she's concerned. I would go to that mental bank in my mind and view them as needed : I found God calling me to pray…as soon as a pornographic image came to mind I would pray for that person, particularly the woman in the situation.

For instance, if your partner is insecure about their career, they may work longer hours in order to help them feel better. Shared by Reddit user demos11, this story is a wake-up call for many of us because while men love providing for the woman they love, they still want you to be independent enough to handle the challenges life throws your way. My husband was engaged to a women and they had been together for nine years. You weigh your partner down; You want the best for your partner, like everyone else.

I've been there. This is clearly a case where a man is seeking someone 17 years younger because he's intimidated by women his own age. My husband is unhappy with the infrequent sex, specifically to the fact that he has to practically beg for it and wait and wait until I want it enough to say yes. When you buy a new dress for a party, he feels you are trying to appeal another man.

We live far away from both our families. I have always extensively written about my sex life since I was little - I was obsessed with Anais Nin as a kid and it just stuck. The great news is we have the power to move past. It can manifest itself in all kinds of ways.

And let him know that your commitment to being authentic includes not just talking about past events and embarrassments. If I am talking about something in my past with friends that involves other sexual partners, he tends to leave the room. Can't prove it. I never initiate, and that bothers him. But, one thing I never really wrote about was the day we met. I've been cheating on my married boyfriend of 6 years with my now-husband of 4 months for the past 3 years My moms new husband moved me out.

I've been married for eight and a half years and I have two beautiful kids. So husband and I have been together since we were 24 and both come from a reserved culture. Some will sound familiar, others may give you ideas, some will turn you on, and some are dark and twisted.

my husband insecure about my past reddit

For a healthy relationship, you need to be willing to give your partner space.Rapid-fire updates i. TL;DR if your post is longer than ish words about a half page. General discussion topics such as requests for stories, polls, general questions, etc. Moral Judgment Posts - See rule I 1 for what to do if your question resembles these:. Fetish deep-dives, e. Name calling, insults, or insensitive language detailsregardless of who started it.

This includes but isn't limited to racial, homophobic, and misogynistic insults and slurs. Blanket statements about a group "All men are X", "All women do Y" are not allowed. Please report them. Do report posts you see which break the rules. If you think the reason might not be obvious, feel free to add your reasoning as to why. Do not report with posts you believe are bad advice for the OP.

That's what downvotes are for. Posting issues will generally result in a post removal unless an equivalent comment rule is also tripped. No Contact. If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship or would like information on warning signs to watch out for, check out The Red Flag Campaign. Husband hates my past and it makes me insecure both 28 Husband hates my past and it makes me insecure both 28 self.

I am usually a lurker particularly on r marriage and not usually a poster. My husband uses reddit so I am using my throwaway account. So husband and I have been together since we were 24 and both come from a reserved culture.

We are looking to begin a family within the next year. We literally fell in love instantly and got married pretty early on. I lost my virginity one year before meeting my husband to a much older man who basically broke my heart. After that I hooked up with a colleague because my self esteem was rock bottom. I opened up about my past to my then boyfriend now husband who has had a similar past to me. Fast forward to our marriage and every time we argue he brings up my past, he later calms down but it leaves me with crippling anxiety and flash backs to the way I was brought up - ' you must be pure, you must wait for marriage - that type of ideology.

He doesn't know this, but it leaves me laying awake at night crying. I hate that this irks him about me. I genuinely feel horrible. I get so jealous of his first girlfriend because she lost her virginity to him and it makes me feel like he will always hold a special place in his heart that I never will. I don't want to throw my marriage away over this, divorce isn't an option. I am not upset over his past, I believe they turned him into the man I love and would never shove it in his face even if I sometimes get pangs of jealousy.

I love this man and he means a lot to me. But it honestly makes me feel so bad for what I did at the age of 23 and I cannot go on living in this pain. Sometimes he's not up for sex and it leaves me wondering if its because he's repulsed by my past.

In our culture women are meant to bleed on the sheets of their beds for their husbands to symbolise virginity. I know its disgusting but that's how it is so as a wife I feel as though I have failed in this regard. I am hoping that as time goes on we will move past this after we have a family of our own. There is so much more I wish to give him.


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